Including Older Siblings in Your Newborn Session

When Baby Comes Home, Big Kid Feelings Are Real

Let me tell you about a baby bunny in a jar.

Before my youngest was born, I bought my daughter a set of toy bunnies – one for each family member. Mommy bunny, Daddy bunny, a bunny for her, and a tiny one for her new baby sister. My plan was to act out different family dynamics to model what being a family of 4 might look like.

She had her own ideas of what our family of 4 might look like.

She would pick up the baby bunny, place it carefully inside a jar, close the lid, and say, “Baby sister wants to stay in here.” Then she would go right back to playing with the other three bunnies as if everything was perfectly fine.

She was not being unkind. She was just processing the biggest change of her little life in the only way she knew how.

I think about that bunny in a jar a lot when I arrive at a newborn session with a toddler in the house.

Older siblings do not always know what to do with a new baby, and honestly, that is completely okay. What matters is how we meet them where they are, and how we give them the time and space to warm up on their own terms.

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The Part Most Parents Do Not See Coming

There is a common thought about newborn photos that usually goes like this – “Let’s get the photos with our toddler done quickly, all at once and at the beginning so the rest of the session will be easier.”

I used to operate that way too.

But after doing newborn sessions in family homes over the years, I have learned that rushing the sibling portion – especially when a toddler has recently become a big brother or sister for the first time – can actually make things harder for everyone.

Toddlers sense pressure. They feel the energy in the room. And when a new baby has just joined their home, their little world has already been turned upside down. The last thing they need is more people looking at them expectantly, waiting for them to perform.

This is also one of the biggest reasons I love in-home newborn sessions for families with older siblings. My studio is always a warm, welcoming option, and some families genuinely prefer that setting. But when there is a two, three, or four-year-old involved, being in their own space – surrounded by their own toys, their own comfort – can make a quiet but meaningful difference.

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What Actually Works: Following the Child’s Lead

Here is what I have shifted toward over time, and what I genuinely believe makes these sessions work.

Start with the child, not the baby

When I walk through the door, I get down on their level. I do not mention the baby right away. I look around and see what they are playing with, and I ask about that instead. Kids light up when a grown-up is genuinely curious about their world.

From there, I gradually shift the conversation toward how exciting it is to be a big sibling. I put the focus on them – on how much bigger they are, how important their role is. We are celebrating them, not just asking them to be props next to a sleeping newborn.

Let the warm-up happen naturally

Every session runs a little differently when there is a toddler involved. Some kids are ready to go from the moment I arrive – they are already kissing the baby’s forehead and asking to hold them. Others need lots of casual, low-key conversation before they even want to be in the same room.

Both of those are completely normal. I follow their lead.

Ask parents to step back (gently)

This one is hard for parents to hear, but it matters. When moms and dads are anxious to get the sibling shots done, the instinct is to start coaxing, bribing, and reminding their child to “say hi” or “use their manners.” And I completely understand that instinct.

The problem is that toddlers feel that urgency, and it adds pressure to an already emotionally loaded moment. A gentle bribe at the right time can absolutely work – but if it comes too early, before any real connection has been made, it often backfires.

I always let parents know ahead of time: trust the process. I will make a connection with your child on my own, and once that happens, things tend to flow much more naturally. It takes the weight off them too.

Do not apologize for your toddler

Parents often spend the first part of a session apologizing – for their child not saying hello, for the meltdown that happened right before I arrived, for the fact that their kid is currently hiding under the kitchen table.

Please know that none of that bothers me, and none of it surprises me. I am a mom too. I have lived through the toddler years and I am still in the thick of them. Your child is not misbehaving. They are adjusting. There is a big difference.

Sibling shots are worth the wait

When the connection does happen, the photos are genuinely beautiful. A big sister leaning in to look at her baby brother. A four-year-old who spent the first half of the session hiding, suddenly choosing to climb up next to mom and rest his head near the baby. Those are the shots families keep forever.

They just need a little time to get there.

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Why This Matters More Than You Might Expect

Newborn sessions are often framed around the baby – the tiny fingers, the sleepy curls, the wrinkly little details you want to remember before they disappear. Which of course I am going to document.

But this season belongs to the whole family. Including the big kid who is quietly working through something enormous. Including the parents who are running on very little sleep and trying to hold everything together. Including all the messy, tender, complicated feelings that come with a new baby joining the picture.

When I give older siblings the time and space they need, what comes back are images that reflect the real beginning of something – the awkward, sweet, gradually unfolding story of a family growing into its new shape.

That is worth slowing down for.

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Ready to Book Your Newborn Session?

If you are expecting and wondering how to make your older child part of the experience in a way that feels low-pressure and genuinely fun, I would love to talk through what that could look like for your family.

Reach out here and let’s start planning a session that honors every member of your family – baby and toddler bunny both.